Simple Splendor

Monday, October 31, 2005

As much as I love our local transit system, I do have one qualm with it.

Yesterday, on my bus trip up to work, a man sat down beside me. He smelled so strongly of alcohol and dirty that it nearly gave me a headache. Fortunately, he got on only shortly before we reached my stop and I didn't have to deal with it for long.

This morning, however, was terrible! I got on the bus at the terminal and ended up sitting beside a man who smelled, no word of a lie, like beef jerky. It wasn't a "he just ate beef jerky and the scent is still lingering" kind of a smell, but more like a "instead of bathing, he'd much rather rub himself with rotting jerky on a daily basis" smell. My morning bus ride is long - especially when sitting by a man that seemed as though he had been slaughtered, salted and hung to dry, then left out in a jar by any given convenience store cash register.

So what was my solution to the problem? I realised that the less time I spent breathing, the less I could smell him. So my breaths became slower and farther between. The only problem was that not only did I think I was going to hurl, I was also on the verge of passing out.

All in all, bus patrons should be screened and approved to ride. Twice in two days? We clearly have a problem here...


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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